The Big C
Mary was walking through Tesco's when she ran into Harry, who she hadn't seen in a couple of years. They got to talking and eventually Harry enquired after Grahame; her husband.
'"Oh Dear: haven't you heard? Unfortunately he's no longer with us."
"'What dead?"
"'Yes."
"I'm sorry to hear that. If it's not too intrusive, can I enquire what he died of?'"
"The big C got him."
"'Oh my God" he replied, "Cancer is so common nowadays."
"'Ah no it wasn't cancer, he fell overboard the Belfast Liverpool ferry, and drowned in THE BIG SEA".
A Man Hears He Has Cancer
A man hears from his doctor that he has cancer and only has six months to live. The doctor recommends that he marry an accountant and move to Wales The man asks, "Will this cure my cancer?" "No," said the doctor, "but the six months will seem much longer!"
After The Operation
A patient visited his urologist for testicular cancer and expressed concern about being able to perform after the operation. The patient was also worried about the chemotherapy. The doctor said "I too had testicular cancer a few years ago. Ten days after the operation I made passionate love with my wife, and forgot all my worries. Try it and see for yourself." Three weeks later the patient returns, and thanks the doctor effusively. The doctor says "I'm glad my advice helped." The patient thanks him again, and as he's leaving says "By the way Doctor, you have a really beautiful house."
